One Vulcan Please!
by PaperPrince
Summary: Dr.McCoy isnt the first person in the history of the world to have mistakenly applied for something.  Un fortuanatly he has landed himself a Vulcan wife not gym membership. ** Note fic contains a large helping of Spock/Bones slash **


McCoy had barely read the words _congratulation your application has been successful_ before deciding to add the letter to the Spam folder he made especially for all of the Captains pranks. His curiosity however calls him back to it moments later. He reads the email fully this time, looking for the spelling mistakes and torpedo jokes that are almost as incriminating as the Captain's signature.

The dim possibility that it isn't a wind up sinks into his head slowly when the link supplied turns out to be for something other than porn. Panic starts to grow as the possibility of the email being a wind up diminishes.

How on earth had he managed to get involved in all this he wondered? He tried to think back over many a late coffee filled night of paper work and sighed. In the wake of all that Nero business he had done little else but reports. To make matters worse he couldn't even remember half of it. It was plausible that he could have mistakenly filled out an application form wasn't it? Especially as he faintly recalled that one of the nurses had been looking for some questionnaire in sickbay the other day.

He took another sip of coffee and tried to formulate a plan. The most logical thing to do would be to contact the Vulcan High Council and let them know of his mistake. They would understand right? Or would they? Vulcans could be somewhat tetchy at times after all. "Maybe I should go and meet her" he thought. "You know just in case I like her after all". McCoy shuddered at thought, him with a Vulcan bond mate that was madness. Besides the first Mrs McCoy had been bad enough, he didn't need another one.

On the other hand the message contained an appointment to meet at the same restaurant McCoy had been planning on having dinner at anyway so it wouldn't be that much of a bother to turn up there for a meeting. Besides he reasoned it was only proper to let the other person down in person. It was gentler. And after all McCoy was a gentleman.

He takes his time getting to the restaurant, a little place in Green Acres that was one of the few restaurants that still actually cooked its food. Slipping inside the restaurant he is led upstairs to a private room by an elderly female Vulcan by the name of T'halia. As they climb up the winding staircase she informs him that the set up is more along the lines of speed dating than a full out omiai.

She also tells him to mingle with various Vulcans and get to know them better before deciding on "the one". Staring at her hopeful face McCoy finds himself unable to explain to her the mix up that had occurred, that in reality it was Nurse Jenkins that should be standing here not him. Instead he lets her quickly run a comb through his hair and stick a nametag to his medical blues and wish him luck.

Striding through the automatic doors he tries to enter with confidence and ends up nearly colliding with one of the tables that fill the large fancy dining room. Thankfully Vulcans aren't big on laughing at others misfortune so it isn't that embarrassing. He makes his way over to the bar and makes the bartenders evening by ordering two Mint Juleps in quick succession.

From his spot at the bar he then proceeds to examine the mix of male and female human, Vulcan and other as they quietly flit around the room. Most of whom he vaguely recognises from federation socials, sickbay or TV. Looking round he finds fledgling couples sitting holding hands and whispering softly to each other while others undergo primary mind melds that if successful should bag them a compatible mate.

He still sitting at the bar sipping his drink as a gaggle of non-Vulcan professionals saunter up to the bar for yet more juice talking about the new colony as they do so.

Eyeing his drink disdainfully Professor Makar asks McCoy whether he plans to be on the first or second ship heading to New Vulcan causing McCoy to choke. While admittedly not the biggest fan of space and space ships McCoy wasn't planning on leaving Starfleet especially while they so desperately needed good Doctors like himself.

As he partakes in the boring yet amicable chatter his eyes drift across the room to where another cluster of people stand beside the buffet table awkwardly trying to make small talk, while holding cheese and pineapple sticks. His stomach growls at the sight of the exquisitely laid vegetarian spread.

Tongue salivating he makes his excuses and weaves his way over to the group of vulcans standing by the food and pushes a few of them out of the way to get to the food. Plating up he listens in to their conversations, which basically go something like this:

"Dude I'm so gonna go over there"

"Sure you've been saying that for half an hour, when are you gonna man up and speak to her?"

"Shut up man" deep breath "okay I'm going"

"Ha too late she's just left with that Andorian scientist"

"Dam, hey what about him over there, he looks smart"

"Forget about it dude, he's way out of your league"

"Yea your right what was I thinking? I'm gonna go chat up the girl with the forehead ridges"

(And so on… though more vulcany and logical)

McCoy listens in to a few more conversations of a similar vain and begins to wonder about the Vulcan Adonis that they can't bring themselves to talk to. Following their gaze he spots a familiar face alone in the far corner wearing an old fashioned Terran suit. He sits at a table examining his glass of orange juice with particular interest, trying not to show how wretched he feels. It occurs to McCoy that he doesn't know that people are fighting over him while he sits there waiting for someone to approach him.

He chews the last of his spring roll and tries to ignore the part of him that just wants to go over there and give that walking computer a great big bear hug. He fidgets with his plastic fork for a bit, swirling it around the plate while mentally reasoning out the pros and cons of going over there. "I mean sure Spock's an awesome guy, smart and handsome and… crap he's looking right at me."

Having swallowed the necessary courage that the others have spent the evening avoiding McCoy decides to put down his plate and go up and speak to the damn hobgoblin. "Surprised to see me?" he asks unnecessarily for surprise is evident on Spock's face as his eyebrows are raised and he's too dumbstruck to speak. McCoy takes the opportunity to sit down before Spock can refuse.

Its funny how all the snarky remarks McCoy's spent the last few minutes thinking up float out of his brain as he stares at the Vulcan in front of him. Fortunately Spock doesn't seem to notice. They sit in silence for a moment or two until Spock can bare it no longer. "Doctor I believe that human males often break the ice with prospective mates by offering up some sort of compliment in the form of a line that is often somewhat humorous in nature"

"Are you asking me to hit on you?" asked McCoy incensed. His eyes meet stern yet warm dark ones and the fire fizzles out of him. He coughs "Um… I mean I didn't think you Vulcans went for that sort of thing" He says feeling dumb. "Am I not worthy of a compliment?" asks Spock softly giving McCoy a look that betrays the mass of insecurities hidden in the Vulcan.

"Spock" he says suddenly wanting to take the Vulcan home and mother him. "Spock you're beautiful but I don't care 'cos you're smart, which is even better" the words just flow out of his mouth fully formed. The twist of smile flickers on the corner of Spock lips as he lets the words sink in. "Your words are acceptable" He says reaching out to take McCoy's calloused hand in his.

McCoy tenses slightly at the touch and earns himself a concerned look from Spock. "I don't want to meld" he says somewhat lamely, half expecting Spock to let go of his hand. "It is unnecessary" replies Spock looking at him with serious eyes. "I already know what kind of man you are" a slender finger stokes the skin on the back of McCoy's hand as he continues. " You're loyal to friends, kind to your patients, unafraid to stand up for what you believe in and serious about your work. " Spock says blushing unexpectedly green.

"Anyway as both of us will be serving on the same ship a romantic association would be most logical" says Spock recovering his composure as his long skilful fingers rub circles into McCoy's palm. Enthralled by the Spock's hands McCoy's barely aware of his words but agrees anyway.

Before they have a chance to get any further T'halia decides to ruin the moment by making an appearance. "So it looks like the two of you are getting along. Have you decided on the number of kids you want?" Asks T'halia the hint of a smile on her lips betraying the happiness she secretly felt at having helped yet another couple.

The two of them exchange a quick glance. "Err I think I'll have him to go." Says McCoy grabbing Spock by the tie hastily pulling him towards the exit back to his room at the academy. "Gotta get an early start on those babies, you know."


End file.
